Managing Stress

Coping-Skills

TO: ______________________________________________________
FROM: ___________________________________________________
RE: Referral For Counseling With The Employee Assistance Program
DATE: ____________________________________________________

Employee’s Name:__________________________________________
Title: _______________________________
Department: _______________________________________________
Phone No. ___________________________

Supervisor’s Name: _________________________________________
Phone No. ___________________________

Employee’s Days Off: _______________________________________
Shift: _______________________________

The above named employee is being referred to the Employee Assistance Program for counseling for the following reasons: (Please be specific regarding the reason for referral. If necessary, you may attach pertinent supporting documentation, ie. letters of counseling, performance appraisal, significant events, etc.).

EMPLOYEE HAS BEEN ADVISED OF THIS REFERRAL
YES __________
NO __________

NOTE: An employee needs to be advised that a referral for counseling is being made in order for an appointment to be scheduled. Without the information from the supervisor, the EAP counselor only hears one side of the story – the employee’s. Your information is crucial in being able to resolve the problem.

If you know someone who you believe “has a problem” or would benefit from counseling, a referral to the EAP is a good first step. As a co-worker, spouse or significant other of a person involved in drugs, alcohol, gambling or mental illness you can easily be dragged into their “pool of insanity.” The results of this unhealthy pattern is often one that “drowns” both people.

The key to helping someone with these problems is to find a balance between helping and enabling the problem. The tough love approach is the sanest approach for you to follow. By following some of the guidelines through the organizations and books referenced below you will not ignore the person’s problems, nor will you enable the person by helping them avoid the negative consequences of their behavior.

Keeping your balance in these situations is much more difficult than it would seem. The closer you are to the person with the problem (the dependent) the harder it becomes to “detach with love”. Al-Anon/Narc-Anon/Gam-Anon are all members of proven 12 Step/Self Help programs to assist friends and family members to cope with these very difficult situations. When needed a professional counselor can be used to assist in an “intervention” to help the “dependent person” by confronting the denial and by supporting a referral to treatment.

If any of these issues are affecting you, start by contacting your EAP or utilizing your State Health Benefits to seek private counseling. A third option is to reach out to the self-help groups mentioned below to begin your program of recovery and regain the balance in your own life.

References:

• Against The Wall, John Hough and Marshall Hardy
• Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling other and Start Caring For Yourself, Melody Beattie
• Courage To Change: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon, Al-Anon.
• I’ll Quit Tomorrow: A Practical Guide to Alcoholism Treatment, Vernon E. Johnson
• Intervention: How to Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help, Vernon E. Johnson
• Hazelden Website (www.hazelden.org)

Who is eligible and what does it cost?

The EAP is available to all employees and their immediate family members at no cost.

How do I get EAP help?

To schedule a confidential appointment with Dr. Kahn:

• Call Lori Zuccola at ext. 7506 to schedule an appointment for one of the dates listed on the campus schedule.
• Call Dr. Kahn directly at (973) 761-5303
• E-mail Dr. Kahn at drmjkahn@aol.com

A meeting will be arranged at your work site, during work time or at a more confidential location after work hours. We will make every effort to be as flexible as possible and to accommodate the individual needs of all concerned.

Friends, associates or unions can refer employees by either calling Lori Zuccola at ext. 7506 or by making a completely confidential telephone call to Dr. Kahn at ECA. Supervisors may refer an employees to the Employee Assistance Program by calling Lori Zuccola at ext. 7506 or by completing the Employee Assistance Program Referral Form located in the Supervisor’s Toolbox. Before referring an employee to the EAP, please review the information provided in the Supervisor’s Toolbox.

What problems can the EAP help me to solve?

We all have problems from time to time and generally, we can solve them ourselves. Sometimes, however, we feel “stuck” in a particular situation which may begin to affect our work and home lives. We also can be affected by the problems of our family members or co-workers. If you have been struggling with a problem for two weeks or longer, or if you feel that you need support during a crisis, that is the time to call. Issues that are frequently addressed through the EAP include:

• Career Lack of direction or dissatisfaction in career
• Child Care Child care issues
• Elder Care Elderly parents or family members
• Family Relationship Problems Marital , children
• Financial Budgeting, financial difficulties
• Health, Health Care, Health Benefits HMO’s, other health care providers
• Mental Health Appropriate care referrals
• Retirement, Disability Eligibility, processing, related issues,
• Substance Abuse Alcohol, drugs or gambling
• Work related issues Getting along with supervisors or coworkers, job performance, lateness and absenteeism, disciplinary problems, harassment, discrimination.

Is it confidential?

The EAP respects your right to receive private, confidential treatment. Unless you request it in writing, your concerns remain confidential and are never a part of your personnel file.

In such cases where there is a threat to personal safety, confidentiality is superseded by the Tarasoff Decision, which obliges the counselor to warn and protect against danger.

Does the EAP protect an employee from disciplinary actions?

Coming to the EAP does not protect you from discipline but can provide an alternative.

Will there be a record placed in your personnel file?

In no case is any personal information from your counseling session placed in your personnel file.

When will the Employee Consulting Associates be on campus?

Contact Lori Zuccola at extension 7506 or email lzuccola@ramapo.edu

Additional Assistance and Information:

• Alcohol Screening Instrument – This tool enables individuals to privately assess their own alcohol use. Results are kept private.
• Links – Many useful websites that provide additional information and assistance.

Managing Stress

Stress is a state of being characterized by physical and emotional tension brought about by (perceived) unrealistic expectations.

Stress can be a motivating force to help bring about positive change when we have an optimistic attitude and effective skills.

Stress becomes limiting when we have a negative attitude and develop feelings of frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, depression and loss of control in our lives.

Sources of Stress:

• trying to do too much in too little time, with too little knowledge and with inadequate skills and tools
• the need to gain approval from others
• the need to control a situation or person
• creating unrealistic demands and expectations of oneself or others
• unrealistic perception of ourselves, others or the situation

Life is 10% what happens and 90% of how you perceive it and what you do with it.

Life is a do-it-yourself project.

Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood looking backward.